Welcome to Bangkok

Music is such a huge part of my life. I can honestly say that if I laid in bed and listened to my favorite albums all day it wouldn't be a wasted day. Sit down with me and discuss music with me and I would love it. I invest so much emotion into the music that I listen to that I get so overly animated when explaining how much I like a song or why I like said song. I could explain to you why each song means so much to me for every song on every one of my favorite albums. I could break down the lyrics and their meanings over and over again. I take things to extremes and even have songs picked out that I want played at my funeral. I can honestly say that my one last dying wish would be to listen to Brand New's "Welcome to Bangkok" one last time.

This makes me wish I could actually play and/or write my own music. I wish I was more musically gifted. I've tried learning to play bass in the past but I never really dedicated myself to it. I didn't know where to start when it came to learning. I just sort of held it in my hands and fiddled around with it. I want to change that. Since music is one of my strongest passions I want to dive into it completely. I have so many musician friends that LOVE playing music, even though some might not even be in a band. I see how lost they become in their instrument when they play it and I become so envious. I don't have aspirations to become a rock star. I just want to get to the point where I can enjoy what I'm playing and take pride in it. One problem though is that I am not very creative. I can't start anything myself and see it through, but if you give me something to work with I can take it a tweak it around and make something wonderful. It's not just with music, it's with everything I do creatively. I've always had that problem. I first noticed it when I stole an essay off the internet for a report I needed to do in the 8th grade. I took valid facts and strung them together with a bunch of exaggerated bullshit and I got a successful report out of it. I did all throughout high school. I never actually read the books I needed to write about... I would just find key plot points on Sparknotes and then BS my way into receiving an A on my assignment. That has now carried over into my creative process as an adult. Learning to break that is going to be tough but I'm going to try. As soon as I can I'm going to go out and purchase another bass and a "How To" book if that's what it takes. All I hope is to at least bring myself up to a level suitable for playing alongside someone. Who knows, maybe once I begin playing with people I can put that whole BSing thing that I'm so good at into my music. You know, take a bar of music, write a base bass line, and then sit there and work and work at it until it's improved as much as I can.

We'll see where this goes. If any of you ever want to talk music, I'm your guy.