'ello Sparrow

I've never wanted to abandon anyone, but I feel like that's what I'll be doing soon. I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to dislike living in the desert. Everyday seems like a repeat of the day before, like my life is a record and the needle is skipping over that same scratch, trying to correct it's path. I love all of my friends I really do, but I want more than this. I know I'm being selfish but I can't help it. I want to join the Air Force. I want to get out of here. I really do want to. I'm afraid of leaving people behind though. Pauline is probably gonna feel the worst of it. I feel bad for her, I really do, but this is something I feel I gotta do you know? And then there's Jamie and Mark. I really wish I didn't have to leave them. I know Jamie probably feels like everyone around him is picking up and leaving, and I don't want to contribute to that but I kinda have to. And Mark... I don't want Mark to feel like he has no one left. I don't want him to hate it here like me.


Whatever though. Im going to make the most of my time and do the best I can to make sure everyone around me knows I love them. I'm not going to let this blackhole suck everyone else into before I leave. I'm going to make sure they're tied down and secure before I go anywhere.